| Negative influences are all around and can have a | | | | have moulded us to who we are today, but some |
| dramatic effect on your self esteem. Don't let | | | | people live in their past experiences - usually |
| unchecked people and circumstances pull you | | | | something that hurt and still hurts. It's okay to cry |
| down. Here are 6 tips on how to minimize your | | | | out when you experience pain but don't let pain |
| exposure and how to concentrate on positive | | | | dominate your life as it will transform itself into |
| influences and as a starter guide for self | | | | fears and phobias. If something painful happens, or |
| improvement. | | | | has happened to you, find a way to minimise the |
| Staying calm, composed and maintaining strong | | | | effects. Discuss it with a friend, a family member |
| self esteem in today's tough environment can be | | | | or a professional if necessary and move on. Don't |
| difficult but is not impossible if you follow a few | | | | let it continue to dominate your life and dictate |
| simple guidelines. Here are 6 tips you can use as a | | | | your future actions. Because something bad has |
| starter guide to self improvement. | | | | happened doesn't mean it will happen again. Learn |
| Everything and everyone else around you can | | | | what you can from any bad experience and |
| affect your self esteem. Other people can | | | | move on. |
| deliberately or inadvertently damage your self | | | | 5: Negative World View |
| image. Unchecked people and circumstances can | | | | The television news is full of doom and gloom and |
| ultimately destroy your self esteem and pull you | | | | it is true that around the world there are many |
| down in ways you won't even notice. Don't let | | | | people suffering war, famine or other natural or |
| these influences get the best of you. But what | | | | man-made disasters. Whilst I do not suggest you |
| should you avoid? | | | | should not care and do nothing, remember that |
| 1 : A Negative Work Environment | | | | there are many beautiful positive things happening |
| Beware of a "dog eat dog" environment where | | | | too. Don't wrap yourself up with all the negative |
| everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is | | | | aspects around the world. Learn to look for |
| where non-appreciative people usually thrive and | | | | beauty too for, in building self esteem, we must |
| working extra is expected and not rewarded. In | | | | learn how to be positive in a negative world. |
| this environment no one will appreciate your | | | | 6: Determination Theory |
| contributions even if you miss lunch, dinner, and | | | | Are we a product of our biological inherited |
| stay at work late into the night. Unless you are | | | | characteristics (nature) or a result of the |
| very fortunate most of the time you will work | | | | influences we absorb throughout out lives |
| too hard with no help from others around you. | | | | (nurture)? I believe how we are is due to a |
| This type of atmosphere will ruin your self | | | | mixture of both nurture and nature and as a |
| esteem. This is not just healthy competition, at its | | | | result our behavioural traits are not fixed. Whilst it |
| worst it is brutal and very damaging. | | | | is true that some things are dictated by genetics |
| 2: Other Peoples Behaviour | | | | (for example race, color and many inherited |
| Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, | | | | conditions) your environment and the people in |
| backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, | | | | your life have a major effect on your behaviour. |
| controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, | | | | You are your own person, you have your own |
| patronizers, sluffers - whatever you want to call | | | | identity and make your own choices. The |
| them, all have one thing in common - an | | | | characteristics your mother or father display are |
| overriding desire to prosper at the expense of | | | | not your destiny. Learn from other people's |
| others. Avoid them and do not be tempted to | | | | experience, so you don't suffer the same |
| join them. They may get some short term | | | | mistakes. |
| advantage with their behaviour but deep down | | | | Are some people are born leaders or positive |
| most are very insecure, unhappy and ashamed of | | | | thinkers? I don't believe so. Being positive, and |
| their behaviour. For most their self esteem | | | | staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem |
| disappeared a long time ago. Seeing someone like | | | | and drawing on positive experiences for self |
| this prosper is sickening but do not join them - | | | | improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. |
| you are better than that! | | | | No-one will come to you and give you permission |
| 3: A Changing Environment | | | | to build your self esteem and improve your self. |
| In today's fast moving society it is difficult if not | | | | It is in your control. |
| impossible to avoid change. Changes challenge our | | | | It can be hard to keep positive, especially when |
| paradigms and tests our flexibility, adaptability and | | | | others and circumstances seem to be conspiring |
| alter the way we think. Changes can make your | | | | to pull you down. You need to protect yourself |
| life difficult and may cause stress but, if it's | | | | and give yourself a chance to stay positive. |
| inevitable, you must accept it, don't fight it and in | | | | Improving your self esteem gives you that |
| time find ways to improve your life. Try to | | | | protection. |
| manage change and try to avoid multiple changes | | | | One way to stay positive is to minimise your |
| at the same time. If a particular change can't be | | | | exposure to harmful influences while using |
| avoided welcome it. Change will be with us | | | | affirmations to boost the positive influences in |
| forever, we must learn to live with it. | | | | your life. Constantly reminding yourself of the |
| 4: Past Experience | | | | good things in your life will keep the impact of |
| We all carry "baggage" - past experiences which | | | | negative influences to a minimum. |