| "and they lived happily ever after...That is how our | | | | usually encounter feelings of loneliness, alienation |
| favorite childhood fairytales have always | | | | and frustration over our inability to create |
| ended.That is how the romantic movies from | | | | intimate, loving and committed relationship.Usually |
| Hollywood always end.And that is what the media | | | | we blame our lover for failing us.What seldom |
| agencies advertisements promise will happen if | | | | occurs to us is that, it is we who need to |
| we'll purchase the right toothpaste, car, T-shirt or | | | | transform our own unconscious beliefs, |
| life insurance policy.In short, ""...and they lived | | | | expectations and demands, which we impose |
| happily ever after..."" is what we have been | | | | upon our lover.Once aware of it, we realize that |
| conditioned to believe our intimate relationship | | | | this relationship brings unhealed emotional 'stuff' |
| should look like.WAKE UP FOLKS!I hate to tell you | | | | into our conscious mind.Only from this |
| this, but... GROW UP!We were conditioned to | | | | perspective, can we assume our responsibility for |
| believe that life was going to be a bed of roses... | | | | the situation and begin to deal with what comes |
| a piece of cake... a walk in the park.Of course, | | | | to the surface.From this point of recognition, we |
| what 'they' forgot to mention when we were | | | | can then begin to heal ourselves.I am convinced |
| kids, was that roses have thorns, cakes contain | | | | that we join in relationship with another person |
| calories, and a walk in the park significantly | | | | with the purpose of supporting each other's |
| increases your odds of stepping in dog's you | | | | personal-growth process.In order to support us on |
| know what...One of the major myths we were | | | | our path we need this private trainer or coach to |
| led to believe in, since the 12th century, is the | | | | walk with us.Imagine one of those famous football |
| myth of romantic love.A myth that nowadays | | | | or basketball trainers, as your personal coach, 24 |
| has its new-age label - the well-known 'Soul | | | | hours a day, all year round...I can see your |
| Mate'.Romantic love is probably the most popular | | | | horrified expression from here...Well, this personal |
| path to personal satisfaction and self-esteem in | | | | coach is your Soul Mate.... not exactly what you |
| the western world.In our modern culture, we | | | | had in mind when you saw that gorgeous |
| replaced religion with romantic love as the means | | | | someone at a party...The role of your Soul Mate is |
| by which we seek ecstasy, meaning and | | | | to confront you when you're losing your integrity, |
| wholeness.Romantic love does not only mean | | | | to kick your ass when you're getting lazy, push |
| 'loving someone', it also means 'being in love'.When | | | | your buttons until you gain clarity of your |
| we are in love we believe we have found the | | | | destructive patterns, and so on...If you and your |
| ultimate meaning of life, as revealed in another | | | | partner had both attained enlightenment, you |
| human being - our Soul Mate.We feel | | | | probably wouldn't have so much trouble.Your |
| 'instantaneous completeness' and believe that the | | | | partner would have all the compassion in the |
| so-called missing piece to our life and to ourselves, | | | | world, and you would have the overview to see |
| has finally been found.Life suddenly seems to | | | | your partner's contribution to your life.And then of |
| have a wholeness, meaning, direction and | | | | course, if both of you are fully enlightened, then |
| purpose.There is this intensity, which lifts us high | | | | you probably don't need a Soul Mate...However, |
| above our usual perception of reality.For most | | | | assuming that both of you haven't reached that |
| people, these exciting feelings are assumed to be | | | | stage of full self-realization yet, life is a bit more |
| the definite signs of the ultimate | | | | complicated...As Karen Scalf Linamen suggests, the |
| lover.Unconsciously, we immediately create a | | | | phrase ""And they lived happily ever after"" is |
| demand that our lover always provide us with this | | | | actually a long-forgotten medieval punch line that, |
| feeling of ecstasy and intensity.Despite that | | | | when translated, means, ""And, boy - ha ha! - are |
| ecstasy, within a few weeks (or months) we | | | | they in for the surprise of their lives!""Have fun... |